The Mother-Adolescent Relationship Influences the Moment of the First Sexual Activity

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The Mother-Adolescent Relationship Influences the Moment of the First Sexual Activity

It’s Friday, Julian, 16yrs., has told his parents that he will be staying with some friends so they can go to a dance. He takes with him some condoms “to be on the safe side” although the last time he did not use any because he was with a girl whom he had known for four years.
Charles, 14yrs, will spend the night at his girlfriend’s home because her parents aren’t home.
Sofia, 16, and Laura, 17are also going out this weekend. Both want to “hook up” with someone because everybody does it. Laura will only have oral sex because she believes there are no risks involved in that form of sexual activity. Sofia, on the other hand, if she links up with a boy she has liked now for a year has sworn to her friend that she will do whatever
he asks her to do. “Of he asks me to, I will try everything, a few drinks of anything and a pill or two.”


Ok, it is true that not all adolescents carry irresponsible sexual lifestyles. Only a few of them live risky sexual lives to the limit. This is the most important reason why respecting your child’s privacy should not implicate a pact of “ you don’t tell and I won’t ask” but to allow him or her to make their own decisions of course, with the parent giving as much information as possible. Privacy can be respected and adequate measures can be in place so that their problems and their doubts can be resolved. A great number of adolescents have their first sexual experience with total ignorance as to why and how to protect themselves simply because in their homes there is no mention of sex. Studies on sex and adolescents have shown that there is a direct relationship between early sexually experiences and lack of information from the home. Since many youths lack adults to whom they can turn to for information, they turn to pornography or to others who are “sexual leaders” who apparently experiment and give wrong messages as to what should be pleasurable or not. These messages confuse them at the time into not knowing how to react to the intimacy and they end up not being able to discern between pleasurable sex and brutal sadomasochistic sex which some end up considering as a normal form of sexual behaviour. And let’s not even talk about the number of fifteen year old girls who through lack of information ask in the 21st Century if they can get pregnant after the first time.

Information on sex that is given today in the home and in colleges stop half way. Information is given, for example, on protection to 14 year olds while 12 and 13 year olds are also sexually active although normally it involves oral sex. If we consider pre-adolescents and adolescents to understand sex to mean only that which causes rapid penetration and they live in a society that suggests they “try everything” regardless of with whom, it is logical that sooner or later frustration will begin.

The magazines aimed at young audiences have the same idea on sex-penetration, and in addition, as the goal is to have fun, after the photograph of someone famous we can discover dozens of short articles which encourages them to experiment from the "Lesbian Kamasutra" to "The best positions for oral sex .. Articles that don’t even mention protection nor identify the more than fifty diseases that can be transmitted with such practices. But that's not all. As sex for a teenager today is also part of having fun, it is often attached to the consumption of stimulants or drugs of dubious origin.
Although you are unwilling to believe it, you know it's true: Many teenagers are having sex. As a parent, you are concerned about your own teen. What can you do to prevent your teen from being involved in sexual activity at so young an age? Recent research suggests that the best way to prevent premature sexual activity is to develop a good relationship with your teen.
Two studies suggest that teens who have a close relationship with their mothers are more likely to delay sexual activity that adolescents who lack a close relationship with their mothers. The findings of both studies, based on data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, were published in the September 2002 issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health. One study studied boys and girls collectively in grades 8 to 11, and the second looked at boys and girls from 14 to 15 years separately.

Studying the Discoveries of Both Studies
Based on separate interviews of 2000 mothers and their adolescents over a period of one year, 11% of boys between 14 and 15 years of age and 16% of girls the same age, reported having sex.
The findings of the study also included the following:
Among all adolescents in the study, delaying the onset of sexual activity was linked to a perception that the teenager's mother disapproved of the teenager having sex.
For all adolescents in eighth and ninth grade and boys in grades 10 and 11, delaying sexual activity was linked to a strong maternal relationship.
In girls between 14 and 15 years of age, delaying sexual activity was associated with higher level in the education of the mother. The level of education of the mother did not appear to have an influence on the sexual activity of boys in the same age group.
Girls of 14 and 15 years of age were not able to delay sexual contact if their mothers reported satisfaction with their mother – daughter relationship.

Developing a Close Relationship With Your Teen
The author of the study Robert Blum, MD, PhD, director of the Center for Adolescent Health and Development at the University of Minnesota, concluded that a close relationship between adolescents and their mothers is an important factor in the delay of sexual activity. Because the data in relation to fathers were not available from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, it is unknown whether the father-adolescent relationship has the same influence on sexual activity.
If you are a parent, how can we know if you have a close relationship with your teen? Dr. Blum says that doing activities with one’s child is not a measure of close relationship. A close relationship involves speaking, listening, being available and actively involved in your child's life. This includes talking to your children about sex and sexually transmitted infections and being familiar with their friends as well as with their parents. Giving such steps towards building a relationship with your teenager will bring you many rewards, from helping them grow, feeling supported and loved, to helping them make good decisions about their bodies and their lives.
There are still prevailing prejudices that are believed to be superior

There are two kinds of girls, adolescent Argentines argue: The "fast" type and the "serious" type. How do you distinguish one from the other? Those that take care at the time of having sex - those who ask their partner to use a condom or they bring it with them to give their partners, well, these appear to be the "fast" and the "easy" type. These you do not want as a girlfriend.
But not only is it logical that the male discourage that they resort to this method to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and avoid unwanted pregnancy. Also, girls believe that the care before sexual intercourse should be borne by the man: it is he who should be responsible for buying condoms and learning to use it, and he who has the power to decide, if necessary, whether or not it has been effectively put on … or not.
"It is he who decides whether or not a condom is used. She has to know very little and ask him to be careful, but she cannot ask that he uses a condom nor should she demonstrate that she knows how to use one. With this belief coincides both the ideal duties of girls and boys," said Dr. Alicia Figueroa, the gynecologist of Latin American Center of Health and Women (Celsam).
The Celsam presented the results of a recent survey carried out on 50 children and adolescents between 12 and 19 years of age in the city of Buenos Aires. Those results presented the light on many reasons that hinder the use of contraceptive methods.
"The striking thing about this research is that for adolescents of both sexes a girl using contraception or prevention reflects badly on her," said Dr. Diana Galimberti, president of Celsam